Hello High Heelers
What a year it has been! It feels like 2014 has
flashed past in a blink and before we know it, 2015 will have taken over.
Talking about over, my diet is very much that. The festive season has been good
to my taste buds, but less so to my belt buckle. As the New Year approaches, I’ll
be making one of those resolutions to start exercising more and eating
healthier – along with the rest of you. And by the end of January, I’ll probably
be back on the couch with pizza and chocolate.
Oh, the promises we make to ourselves and break
are worse than the promises we break to others. We seem far more comfortable
letting ourselves down, than others. I already know I’m not going to succeed at
my resolutions. And yet, come January 1st I’ll be making a list of
things I want to achieve in the coming year. When I make a promise to someone
dear to me, I’ll stick to it with all my willpower. But when I make a promise
to myself, there’s much less chance I’ll see it through to the end. That makes
me think – if I really want to achieve anything on my list of ‘things to do
while I still have all my hair and teeth’ then I better start being more reliable
to myself.
I made a sweeping statement (as I do sometimes)
a few months back. In front of my aunt, I casually blurted “I wish someone had
told me in my twenties that stuff doesn't
just happen - you have to make it happen.” Her eyebrows narrowed a little as
she answered carefully “Oh I’m sure many people told you that, you just didn’t
listen.” Well, fair enough. I’m sure they did. I was an idiot not to listen.
And if I’m still learning the same lesson in ten years’ time, I’ll be even
sillier.
Now, this is quite a straightforward concept, so
forgive me for sounding so blatantly obvious and perhaps a little patronising –
but it’s really something I’ve failed at epically at times (and maybe you can
relate?) How about we place our lives on the path we want, by making the right
choices? Want to marry a good guy? Start dating nice guys. Want to spend more
time with your family? Spend less time at work and more time at home. Want a
career at Google? Send them your CV, find out where they have skills shortage,
match your skills to the gaps, do an extra course... turn up and impress. Want to be happy? Start doing things that make you happy. You can tell yourself that it’s not that simple. But it kind of is. The excuses we make (as practical
and real as they are) are really just us cheating on our dreams with our fears.
Yep, the f-word. We give power to our fears by
allowing ourselves to think about them, to fixate on them. As many of you know –
I love to travel. Travel is more than a hobby to me, it’s an activity that is
necessary for my wellbeing. To me home is not a place, it is the collection of
places I’ve been that have touched my heart. Travel grows my experience,
stretches my mind, and exposes me to new things and interesting cultures. I can’t
function fully as my best self if I’m not travelling from time to time. But I’m
terrified of flying. I’m extremely claustrophobic. From the moment I step onto
a plane till the second the tires hit the tarmac at my destination I’m having a
full panic attack – the kind that makes your heart race, palms clam up and your
breath quicken to hyperventilation. The kind that makes you feel like you’re
going to die.
I make choices based on this fear. I avoid
flights at all costs and when I take them, I stress for days and my whole world
feels upside down. I give into the fear. I let it win. I let my dreams die a
little every time I choose not to go somewhere because I can’t face getting
onto a flight (especially a long one). I’ve missed out on many beautiful moments,
amazing places and lifelong memories – I’ve lost a part of my heart. Not to say
that fear isn’t real – it’s very real. But
when I learn to not think about it and not worry about it I will start to free
myself from it. I will start to own it, rather than allow it to control me.
As we sprint towards the New Year, why not make
some real promises to yourself and actually keep them? I’m going to make a
resolution in front of all of you reading this. I’m going to start to step away
from my fear. I’m going to step towards my dreams instead. I’m going to go to
new places on 2015. I’m going to be braver. I’m going to see new things. I’m
going to be inspired, so that I can try to inspire others. I’m going to write
more. I’m going to move and be moved. I’m going to do these things. I’m going
to give my dreams more power than I give my fears.
Cheers
Jo
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