Climbing Through

Hello High Heelers

Well slap me silly and call me Gertrude. Today started off in a really bad way. Firstly, I was running late because I forgot to set my alarm clock yesterday and woke up way past ‘awake time,’ and on the wrong side of the bed. Then my security guard called me to add to my admin time – while I was trying very hard to catch up on my lateness. And to top it all off (which is probably why I was ready to stay in my pyjamas and play Bridget Jones this morning) it’s the sixth anniversary of my best friend’s tragic passing away. Not good.

The 12th of March always looms like a dark cloud of guilt, sadness, dulled hope and intense ‘missing’ – firstly missing her and secondly being sad that she’s missed out on so much. I try to avoid it every year. I try to ignore it, or sleep through it. And every year it catches me and shakes me up violently making me lose my breath, leaving me gasping for air. This morning I sat in the traffic feeling very raw – like all of my guts had been ripped out. I was crying buckets and wiping up my tears while trying to not smudge mascara all over my face – or look like a psychotic lunatic.

Whenever I see women sitting in their cars and sobbing in the rush hour traffic jams I make up stories for them. Like one distraught teenager last Wednesday. I decided that she had just been dumped by her ‘squeaky clean’ med-student boyfriend, called Patrick. He had suddenly realised that he was destined to become a tightrope walker so he ran off with circus people to find his sense of balance. She looked so miserable and unfocussed that I was quite worried that she was going to crash into me. In all reality, she had probably just had a fight with her mother. But the boyfriend story is more interesting – right?

Somehow I arrived at the office today looking rather unlike a raccoon (thanks waterproof Maybelline) – and without having had a boyfriend leave me to join the circus (thank goodness). But I did start off by growling at my young minion and I then found myself explaining to him that I’m in a foul mood and am not to be taken seriously all day. He took the explanation well and put up with my grumbling all morning – until I finally got over myself later in the day and allowed myself to smile a little and even laugh.

Sometimes your private life will affect you on a work level. We all know that it’s not ideal. We know that our life issues should be left at the threshold of the office doors. We know that the Marketing Department is no space for personal issues. But some of those issues are just so very heavy that as much as we try to shake them off as we walk into our corporate selves, they stay with us like heavy burdens that affect everything we do. It happens. It just does. So we need to deal with it.

The unfair part is that the more burdens we’re weighted down with, the harder it is to climb. So let’s remember that we’re allowed to have difficult days from time to time, but we simply cannot allow them to hold us back when we’re heading up. I’m annoyed that I let today get to me. But I’m glad that my friend was so special, that I will never forget her, and that on the 12th of March I will continue to feel a sense of intense ‘missing’ because there is an empty void in my heart that cannot be filled by anyone else. It’s ok. But it’s one of the few things, on one of the rare days, that I will allow myself to be overwhelmed with life ‘stuff’.

Let’s shake off the silly issues this week. Then, let’s take the big burdens off our backs and figure out how we’re going to lighten them and carry them in such a way that they do not hold us back but rather direct us up. Let’s stand tall, be real and get on with living. Have a great week.

Cheers,
Jo

(This post is dedicated to my special friend Robynne. She was and will always be the best friend a High Heeler could have had. I miss you every day Robs.)

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A new perspective

Hello High Heelers

I am delighted to share that I have been enjoying life from a new angle all week. Well, with all the new high heels I’ve been wearing I’ve had the best excuse ever to keep looking up at the greatness of life and down at its silly little challenges (which are now even smaller with distance). It’s rather ridiculous that a little pair of heels can help you see a whole new perspective. Well, High Heelers, that’s the power of giving your view a little lift!

In the spirit of this new perspective, renewed confidence and all the rest, when I attacked the shops last week and overloaded my shoe cupboard, I acquired a pair of very high, stupidly sexy, leopard-print, peep-toed, sling-backs. Since I painted my toes fire-engine red last night, I just had to wear them today. So I’ve been prancing around the office enjoying the many, many compliments – including those from my favourite glamour-shoe-icon and boss, Natalie Maroun.

After a day of massive ego-boosting and wonderful shoe happiness, I did a little running around – as one does late on a Monday afternoon when trying to get out the office. The seasoned heel-enthusiasts will confirm that this is not a good idea in new heels. So low and behold, I suddenly found myself low and holding the ground. Yep. One faulty step and the ridiculously high heels sent me sliding across our well-polished reception tiles like a seasoned ice-skater and landing flat on my chin – like a dork! My pencil skirt fortunately remained conservatively over my wobbly-bits, but in its tightness, made it quite impossible to stand up again. So there I lay, face down and giggling like an embarrassed teenager with no one to help me up again. Idiot!

Sigh! I have had the broken heel before. I’ve had the uncomfortable heel before. But I have never ever had an ego-adjusting heel before. Well. There you have it. High Heels can do more than just make you feel confident and wonderful. They can also bring you down to earth and humble you, when necessary. Who knew? New perspective.

When Cinderella donned her uncomfortable glass slippers she entered into a world quite unlike the one she was used to. She literally stepped up into a class she’d never known. She became regal and glamorous. And once she’d seen that life (and it had seen her) there was no going back. If only I was Cinderella! My silly heels took me into the realm of reality today and made me remember that we all started off moving on our hands and feet. We should never forget the struggles we’ve overcome and we should never forget that others are struggling too.

Sometimes you have to put your feet into someone else’s’ shoes – please, not literally! Let’s be High Heelers (and flat-shoed ones) who remember where we’re from and help those who are still crawling a little, this week. Let’s be the ones that hand out the heels (as Natalie did for me last year) to those who have potential to step up in them. “Cinderella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life.” Have a wonderful week.

Cheers,
Jo

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Retail Therapy

Hello High Heelers

I am horrified to share that I bought seven pairs of shoes this weekend. Seven pairs! To the mathematically challenged, that means I can wear a brand new pair of shoes every single day for the next week – including the weekend. (Today I am wearing the cute red ones which are now known as my ‘Dorothy shoes.’) On top of that, I also bought a new handbag, a skirt, a top and numerous bits and bobs for my house. It was a little bit excessive, I must confess.

Why? Well, because in a flight of anger and loneliness I went shopping on Saturday – and then again on Sunday. I knew there was money in my account, I knew Monday was payday and so the spending beast was unleashed in all its powerful glory. I was running up and down the stores, exhausted, but driven - like Rocky in the movie scene where the ‘Eye of the Tiger’ soundtrack plays. In fact, I think I was humming the tune.

When you think about ‘shame shopping’ it’s a perfectly logical thing to do. Once the car boot (which is a ‘trunk’ to our American Heelers) is filled with pretty things, the mind is tricked into feeling filled with happiness. It creates balance between your emotional and physical world. But that feeling is only temporary. Don’t let it get you! After that gem of psychological reasoning I am thinking of becoming a therapist – don’t tell my boss, Natalie Maroun! Shhhh!

Now the point to this story is not the kind of point that comes at the end of a high heel – ok, well, in some way it is. The point is that many of us default to a comfort when we’re feeling our worst. Some people eat, others starve. Some take their frustrations out on the next poor unsuspecting minion that crosses their path. Some bury their heads in the sand and pretend that everything is ok, when it’s not. I shop. And although my shoe cupboard is really happy at the moment, my credit cards smell like burnt plastic (which has a fragrance that smells incredibly similar to ‘Buyer’s Remorse’).

Sometimes it’s good to ‘let your hair down’, but that doesn’t mean blowing your budget, putting your health at risk or denying yourself a chance to fix what needs to be fixed. I think I should try and practice literally letting my hair down next time I feel bad. In addition, I’m certain that a nice bath, a visit with friends or a fun movie could have had the same outcome – at a fraction of the cost.

This week let’s all try and tap into that little thing we should all possess – responsibility. Let’s take responsibility for the situations we’re in and the way we react to them. Let’s take responsibility for our finances, our health and our work. Let’s just be responsible but find all the best ways to live life at the same time.

A clever man I work with (named Jannie :)) told me today that I should always keep my heels, head and standards high! I think that’s a great statement to live by. Let’s walk tall, be responsible and stick to our standards.

Have a wonderful week.

Cheers,
Jo

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Flatly Unstable

Hello High Heelers

After a few days of cruising the high seas, I find myself wearing low heels (if any heels at all). Why? Well because not only does one get sea sick, but shortly after landing on solid ground, one gets ‘land legs’. Who knew? Yep. Now you do. And for the past 5 days the world has been rather unstable under my feet. I’ve been completely ‘legless,’ so to speak.

In this state of unsteadiness and insecurity, I decided to spend the past weekend on my couch with a pile of chick flicks and some yummy scoobie snacks. That way I didn’t have to touch the floor or attempt to actually feel grounded in any way. One of the most fantastic things about being single is that you can watch five chick flicks in a row with no groaning, no sarcasm and no judgement. A true benefit to those of us that walk on our own two feet!

Now, there will be a massive disconnect here to those of you who know me well. If you’re one of those people, you’ll know that I’m actually an unashamed movie-snob. Never mind ‘movie buff’ I’m a total maniac who could easily be an E! Entertainment reporter – in fact I impersonate them when no one’s looking (BTW: ‘roller’ hairbrushes make for wonderful fake microphones). I seldom watch anything that is lacking in rich, unique narrative and some kind of poignant ‘life changing’ message. Art films are real and everything else is rubbish, hogwash, foof and the like. Well, after this weekend I can loudly declare that movie snobbery is for the birds! This chick is now into frivolous flicks. What amazed me most about the many many versions of the same narrative that I watched this weekend, is that each had profound moments of complete clarity. Either that, or this shaky, land legs thing has really left me unstable.

Most of these ‘moments’ were rather cliché. But to be entirely honest, cliché exists because there’s something real, repetitive and honest about it. I just loved the stories about the geeky, awkward, girl, who was really more attractive and wonderful than she ever realised. Then at the end of the story it takes (a ridiculously hot, successful) man to point out to her that she is special, wonderful, intelligent and uniquely beautiful. Sigh! Interestingly, this was the main character in ALL of the films I watched. How cliché!

Why does the cliché exist? Well, many of us are that girl (or at least we FEEL) like her, and hence, we relate to her intimately. May I make a suggestion at this point? Well I’m going to – this is my blog afterall. I think we should be a little more progressive than her. We should be a little more like my glamorously, confident boss, Natalie Maroun. Come on! Let’s not wait for some (ridiculously hot, successful) man to show us our fabulousness. Let’s all get up tomorrow, take a look in the mirror and appreciate our outer beauty – because we really are ALL beautiful in our own special way. Then let’s hit the office and appreciate the talents that we have and the value that we add. Then at the end of the day, let’s hang out with the people that love us and remember that they find us wonderful in many ways – because we are.

Let’s be the chick at the end of the flick, when she has realised that she is loved, unique, special, talented and worthy of all things good. Forget that gawky, unstable girl at the beginning who is always searching for validation and some kind of groundedness – urgh! You know - the one who sits on the couch, eats pizza, watches 5 chick flicks and sobs through a box of Kleenex (blush).

While we all decide to live our own movie character and take control over our own self-worth, let’s also be realistic with our worldview and remember that the only actual ‘happy ending’ in real life is the kind that happens in Bangkok. Sorry! We have to man-up and stand tall in our heels.

Have a wonderful week High Heelers.

Cheers,
Jo

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Confidently Cruising

Hello High Heelers

As you read this post, I am cruising across the Atlantic Ocean with pina colada in hand and the glorious sun on my skin. Ironically, despite the picture perfect mental image, the way I’ve been feeling lately (which is rather whale-like) in the middle of the sea is definitely the appropriate place to be.

The evening before taking to the seas, I began packing for four days of wonderful, blissful eating, drinking, being lazy and increasing whale-like appearance. Yes. To my horror, I realised that on a cruise one wears bikinis and shorts and those flat slip-slops things – known to the Americans as ‘thongs’. Oh no! Really? So we rapidly increase our circumference while showing it all off to the world in flat shoes that make us look short? I don’t get the logic.

Sigh! Then beyond the half-nakedness, flat shoedness and embarrassing white skin exposure, one wears cocktail dresses, heels and fancy jewels after 6pm. What! So I found myself in the middle of a serious wardrobe malfunction of Janet Jackson proportions. I can do the heels part but I’m not an elegantly organised Natalie Maroun type-woman with cocktail dresses on demand, ready, freshly dry-cleaned and hanging in my cupboard waiting for me to be invited to a wonderful event. Fuzzwuckit!

So it was at around 10:07pm the evening before journeying off, while bouncing on my suitcase to see if it would close, that I realised that I was completely unprepared. What did I do? Well, I did what any High Heeler would do. I removed the handbags from my suitcase – since my travel buddy, Amy, had over packed in the bag department – and replaced bags with additional high heels (like REALLY high ones). I also popped in an extra red lipstick. Why? Well because that’s what makes me feel confident and ready to take on the world when I’m feeling a little shaken.

There are always things in life that catch you unprepared and put you right into your uncomfortable zone. It’s inevitable. Expect it. But always remember that the most awesome thing a High Heeler (and any respectable flat-shoed one) can wear is actually not a pair of heels – gasp! (Heels come second in this department) No. The sexiest, most glamorous, attractive and kick-ass thing we can wear is our confidence. So open up your mind and your heart to discover what it is that makes you feel confident – and wear those things with pride. To me – it’s a big smile and grounding myself with items that make me feel like me.

So today, I lie on the deck, high-heeled, red lipped, wearing a sexy smile and clothed in confidence. May I encourage you to find the things that make you feel your best, this week? Do it. They’re yours to use and wear. Have a wonderful week High Heelers.

Cheers,
Jo