Getting off the floor

Hello High Heelers,

I had yet another wonderful weekend filled with great friends and memorable times. You know, something magical happens when the girls get together – we’re either trading secrets, healing each other’s hearts, letting our hair down, or doing all of those things at the same time – while going to the bathroom together. During a more contemplative moment, one of my ladies asked me how I’ve managed to pull myself up and get my feet back on the ground so elegantly after going through such a tough year last year. The question had me stumped. Firstly, I don’t see myself as elegant at the moment, and secondly, I don’t recall feeling flat on the floor, unable to move or breathe. But apparently, I was there. I took a moment to think back to a time of feeling face first, nose to the carpet, wondering how I got there and if I’d ever be able to walk again. Yep – it’s true, I was there. It feels like a lifetime ago.

Now, I don’t know much about what you’re going through, I only know my reality, my truth and my experience. But there were three things that really accelerated my journey to becoming more whole during hard times. This is what I know for me, and maybe it will help you too. Here’s goes… Step one: put your feet on the ground. If you have feet, that’s the first step in recognising that you have a lot going for you. When I began to focus on the positive things that I had starting with the most simple, the ones that are usually taken for granted, and I allowed myself to be grateful for them, I began to understand my self-worth, my successes and my value. I realised I have a whole functioning body, a great job, a beautiful home and an immovable support structure. I learned to focus on those things and make them stronger – which meant beginning a health plan, working harder at the things I love, investing more in my living space and spending quality time with the people who build me up.

Then, I learnt to rely on the kindness of others. There is incredible healing in accepting care. Whether it’s friends, family, colleagues or even random strangers, you’d be amazed what people are willing to do to pull you through if you simply put your hand up for help. From my mom wiping up my tears with a hundred tissues, to the wise lady in the grocery queue who offered a hug and words of wisdom. When I opened my eyes, shared my story and took time to listen, I discovered that I was surrounded by kindness. It meant opening my heart, finding my humility and discovering a level of acceptance. Most of us give much to others in their times of need. So sometimes we get to cash in on returned generosity by accepting gifts of advice and support. For many a High Heeler, to lean on others just doesn’t feel right. But it is. We all go through times of bruising and blisters. If we don’t pull off our heels, accept defeat and give mending its time letting others tend to our wounds for a moment, we will never heal. We’ll keep scraping off the fresh scars.

Lastly, accept where you are in your healing at different times. Know it’s a process and that it’s not likely to have a neat beginning, middle and end (wouldn’t that be nice though?) Some days will feel unbearable while others are easy. For instance, tomorrow is the anniversary of my best friend’s death, it will hurt, it will hurt deeply, but that doesn’t mean it’ll hurt to the same degree the following day and the day after that – on the days when I feel healed and remember only the smiles. Know that some hurts may leave you feeling like you’ll never feel the same as you did before. But, if you let yourself, you will feel better, stronger and wiser. Embrace that. It’s pointless trying to cover up how you feel and pretend that life as you know it hasn’t changed drastically when it has. Learn to be a better person, discover your strength, reset your limits and learn the lesson.

We all go through trials that change who we are, how we live and how we see the world. This week as you go through yours, find the things that bring meaning to your journey and that accelerate your healing. If you don’t learn the lesson, the pain is in vain. Let’s get our feet on the ground and get walking, or if you’re in a moment of needing help, put up your hand, pull up your feet and take a moment.

Have a wonderful week.

Yours in heels,

Jo

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