Hello High Heelers,
I had a serious ‘aha’ moment this morning. Seriously! But let’s rewind first. Last week I was knocked down by flu and a tummy bug at the same time, and I refused to slow down and let the bugs win. No! I am tougher than bugs! I don’t do broken – or at least I pretend not to, while driving everyone around me demented with my constant complaining. I pushed through the week feeling awful, of course, till I reached the weekend which I mostly spent being miserable and grumpy – which was delightful for everyone around me, as you can imagine. Sure, I behaved like a stubborn idiot, but more importantly I didn’t let myself heal. My body was broken and I ignored it. If I’d behaved like a rational human being, I would have probably wrapped myself up in bed, gone to the doctor and slept it off in a day or two. I did none of that. I stretched it out over the week until I collapsed on Friday afternoon, in a lump of exhaustion, only to become mobile again on Sunday afternoon – followed by more exhaustion on Sunday night. Today, I’m still feeling rather worn out and fuzzy – so I hope this post makes sense.
Why do we believe that being strong when we’re not is intrinsic to our competence as humans? Or why do I? (perhaps you are more rational than I am). We’re not machines. We’re humans. We get sick. Our bones break. Our hearts break. Our feelings get hurt. We fall apart in so many ways. And sure, how we deal with it matters. That we’re resilient matters. But when we ignore our bodies we’re doing far more damage than good. We treat ourselves like objects, we can use our car till it falls apart and then get a new one, and we can replace our ‘old’ iPad when the next version comes out – but we’re not getting a new us when we’re worn out, ever. We are not objects. Back to the ‘aha’ moment. What I realised this morning while catching up with my bestie is that stuff within us breaks for a reason. Often this ‘inner stuff’ breaks to make way for better stuff. It’s usually really hard to see at the time. But if you’re feeling broken – emotionally, physically, mentally, know something… it’s ok to break sometimes. We all break which actually gives us a chance to put our pieces back together again – which really helps us familiarise ourselves more intimately with all of our unique bits.
Having said that, and this was the real ‘aha’, some things break because they’re meant to be broken. Shattered. Irreparably damaged forever. As my bestie reminded me this morning, when we break bad patterns and poor habits we’re breaking things for the better. The discipline in these instances is to actually keep it broken. Sometimes we pour a lifetime of ourselves into fixing things that are not meant to be fixed. If you have a tendency to work for bosses that pull you apart, instead of help you on your growth plan, to find the friend who drains the life out of you, or you keep falling for the partner who cheats, lies and treats you badly, learn to distance yourself and break it. Leave it in tatters. Step away from the mess. Keep your glue for better things. If you are attracting negative things and people into your life, recognise that the common denominator is you – and know that only you have the power to break the pattern. And break it now, with everything that you are.
This morning I recognised that brokenness is, in many ways, a gift. It’s a dissonance, a discomfort, that forces you to regroup, rethink, look deeper and discover where you want to be, where you deserve to be. Sometimes in knowing where you don’t want to be, you recognise where you ought to go. No matter how tough it is to journey through brokenness and come out the other side, remember that it takes a ray of light to create a shadow – if you’re living in the shadow of who you should be, know that there’s a light in you too, you just need to reclaim it and make it shine.
Today I acknowledge that brokenness is merely transient and gives way to growth. A woman breaks her body in giving birth to a child that blesses her life in many ways. Brokenness forces us to find new ways of doing things and seeing things. Some connections will be blessings in our lives others will break us, teaching us unforgettable lessons. Learn the difference between the two – and don’t confuse them. People will tell you who they are – listen. People will show you who they are – watch them. If you grasp the brokenness in others and cling to it in an attempt to fix yours, you’re heading in a dangerous direction, that will more than likely lead to... well, more brokenness.
Today let’s recognise our brokenness. Let’s see ourselves as people, not objects. Let’s allow ourselves to understand our broken bits. Let’s leave the shattered parts where they should be and pick up the pieces that are valuable. Let’s begin to build better, greater dreams.
Have a wonderful week.
Yours in heels,
Jo
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