Heeling storm

Hello High Heelers,

We had such a big lightning storm in Joburg on Friday that I was convinced that the world was ending. I was woken in the middle of the night when my apartment block was hit by a bolt. I think you’d have to have been in a coma to have slept through the deafening ‘crack’ and the subsequent vibrations. Considering that I slept through the only earthquake I’ve ever experienced, I think I can state with some measure of authority that it was well beyond being classified as simply ‘unpleasant’. And yet I found myself at my window, watching angry electricity attacking the skies, lighting up the whole city in a beautiful fireworks display. It was, in a word, spectacular. I spent many hours in a trancelike state of fascination and raw fear – feeling incredibly vulnerable and very single. If I didn’t have solid based bed, I would definitely have been hiding under it, with my duvet, like I did when we moved to this city and I experienced my first electric storm – I was petrified!

As the time passed and sleep was so distant, I became more and more awed by the power of nature. The rain, hail and electric shocks had no respect for our man-made constructions. It took out the satellite transmissions in my complex (I’ve had no TV signal since!), as well as all cellphone networks. Cars were damaged. House and vehicle alarms were screaming and flashing madly in the chaos. It was quite something to witness. I did finally manage to get some sleep – not much, but a little. On leaving my home in the morning, remembering the terrific storm the night before, I expected to find trees bent out of shape and the city looking like it had been hit by a bomb – because that’s what it felt like and sounded like.

But the city was not torn apart. In fact, it seemed more whole and healed in some way. There was a fresh scent hanging in the air, the trees were greener, washed clean of the usual dry dust and smog. The red earth was settled and solid. The sky was a little brighter. Even the streets looked ‘pretty’. It’s as if it Jozi city been through massive punishment to leave it a little cleaner and somehow renewed. The few clouds that were left behind were hanging, clear and white, like freshly unwrapped cotton balls. The change was so remarkable that I saw my world changed, even through my very fatigued eyes.

Of course, everyone I crossed paths with this weekend commented on the storm and how stunning and frightful it was. Ex-Joburgers in Cape Town sent messages of jealousy – knowing the brilliance that is a Highveld storm, and sad to have missed it (which is saying a lot from people who live in utopia). There’s a strange beauty in such brutality (and a respect of it too) that leaves the world a better place. It’s almost impossible to make sense of. But being a person who must make sense of all things, in typical ‘Jozi girl style’, I shall take a stab at it! I think, beyond cleaning up the streets that nature was playing ‘mother’ in her teaching role on Friday. She was showing us that after chaos comes light and after destruction comes restoration.

If there’s anything I’ve learnt over the past year of emotional storms, it’s that sometimes to be built up, we need to be broken down. Sometimes to have space for better opportunities we need to let go of what we’re holding onto – no matter how valuable it seems. Sometimes, what feels like punishment is really a gift, preparation for something better, something more exciting than you ever imagined for yourself. There is a reason to hope for a brighter day.

On Sunday, when I ventured into my home church again for the first time in over a year, after avoiding it and the questions that would follow my very public break-up in the past, I was  approached by an old friend who skipped ‘hello’ and went straight to ‘you have no idea how much you look like yourself again’. When I look in the mirror today, I can see it - though I can't tell you what it is. I guess my personal storm, with its fear, insecurity and intensity has passed to make way for a better things. I look forward to discovering them and, of course, sharing them.

To those of us that are still catching up with a year that seems to have taken us on faster than we’ve had a chance to catch up, those who are living in stormy relationships or tough work environments – let’s pull on our heels and stand up (no flippers allowed in this flood!) Let’s take the opportunity to turn calamities into positive experiences. Let’s take on whatever storm we face – one step at a time.

Have a wonderful week.

Yours in heels,
Jo

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