Hello High Heelers,
Well, I tell you, I had the most wonderful weekend. I really
did. For a combination of reasons. On Saturday I decided to catch up on some
reading and writing, and watch a few films that I haven’t got to in ages. I
didn’t go to gym, I didn’t do any work, I didn’t read any newspapers (amazing
how that will drop the blood pressure!), I ate chocolate without guilt (well,
with little guilt), I didn’t put on make-up and I quite simply relaxed. Now,
there’s staying on the couch because you’re feeling lower than low, and there’s
choosing to unwind and spend a little time with yourself. I did the latter. And
guess what I learnt? I learnt that when I drop the pretences, relax and get acquainted
with myself that my company is pretty good! Who knew? Well I certainly didn’t!
I then put my newfound ‘good company’ to the test when I went
to a friend’s birthday drinks on Sunday afternoon, which was a very big deal
for me on the personal front. Let me explain… So, despite having spent loads of
time with my friends over last year (and a bit) of singleness, every social
engagement I’ve been to has been packed with people I know and they’ve all made
an effort to make me feel settled and welcome. My friends have been amazing, encouraging
and hugely inclusive, given that my newfound singleness came at a time when
everyone was suddenly coupling up (permanently) and having babies – great timing,
right? After almost a decade of being an ‘us’ I became a ‘me’ amongst a sea of
new ‘us’es’. Urgh! Anyway, going into yesterday’s party, I knew one person –
the birthday boy. Who would obviously be preoccupied most of the time, being
the centre of attention and all. Going it alone amongst a crowd of strangers
was a whole new milestone and I was pretty nervous. What if no one chatted to
me? What if I was the only person on my own? What if I fell flat on my face and
looked like a retard? What if I told a joke and no one laughed? What if? I
pulled on my highest heels anyway and ventured off tall with semi-confidence,
only to realise on arrival that I can hardly walk in the stupid shoes I’d chosen
to wear (which is a whole lesson in itself).
I was highly relieved when I entered the bar behind a guy I’ve
met a handful of times before. I called for him to wait (which was a ‘hey you’
since I couldn’t remember his name), he stopped, turned around and looked at me
quizzically, asking “do I know you?” Great! This pattern repeated itself a few
times over the evening as I realised I’d met a number of people at the event
previously, but none of them remembered me. NONE! And yet as the time passed I
happily chatted away, had my ridiculous shoes pointed out as a discussion
topic, exchanged numbers with new friends and made plans to contact people. It
seems that myself of last year – the one that spent a lot of time at home on
the couch stuffing her face with pizza, avoiding gym, feeling miserable and
killing time by throwing myself into work – is someone no one really wants to
be around. Unusual, right? But the good news is, myself of this year, is quite
fun. I tell you, I let my hair down (literally), I ordered (gasp) some wine and
I laughed endlessly, enjoying being me. I felt great.
When I crawled up my endless stairs last night (blisters on
feet and heels in hand) I realised something pretty important. When we spend so
much time worrying about what people will think of us, feeling insecure about whom
we’re with, what their expectations are and a bunch of other silly things, in
doing so we deprive people of spending time with a kick-ass, awesome person –
our ‘real’ self. I guarantee that next time I call Norm to ‘wait up’ for me, he’ll
turn around and shout ‘Hey Jo, good to see you!’ Possibly followed by
commentary on my good/bad choice of footwear. I am no longer going to be the amenable
wallflower who sits back and goes with the flow politely and quietly and is remembered
for very little. My new philosophy is this – here I am, this is me, and I’m
memorable. Because life’s too short to get stuck in pretences, or to waste your
energy hiding your quirky bits. It’s our quirky bits that make us… well, quirky.
Life’s amazing, we’re amazing and we must live like everything and everyone we
meet is amazing too.
This week as you enter situations that are a little
uncomfortable. Grab hold of your best tools – your personality, your sense of
humour and your sense of self. When you show people who you really are,
authentically and openly, they can’t help but adore you. Let’s have fun this
week, High Heelers. Let’s just bask in the glory of being ourselves.
Have a wonderful week.
Yours in heels,
Jo
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