Driving Lessons

Hello High Heelers,

As December rolls in at lightning speed and the new year comes crashing towards us, I believe it’s time to reflect in order to prepare for the year ahead. Though I am a firm believer in planning, I am also an explorer of spontaneity and the many adventures it can take me on. There are things you can control – where you want your career to go, getting back in touch with your spirituality and what kind of friendships you wish to build, and then there are those you can’t – like accidents of all variety. Sometimes spontaneity knocks you right over into an uncontrollable situation – if you let it.

Gosh! I had one big surprise of a car accident this weekend. I was sitting at a red traffic light and as I was preparing to ‘go’ at the anticipated green, a car from behind me was knocked on and went straight into the back of me – just as I’d lifted my foot off the brake. It was one of those moments you see coming in slow motion but can’t do anything about. You know, I’ve had a lot of car issues this year, which should be an indicator of my not-so-effective driving, but they really weren’t my fault. I am actually a good driver, most of the time. Ok – crashing head first into my enormous black gate (which you’d have to be completely sight impaired to miss) was absolutely due to an absent mind – however, on the bright side of life it served for excellent entertainment for my neighbours! Getting attacked by vicious hail – not my fault, though I wish I could control the heavens. And now, being wacked from behind at a red light – that wasn’t me at all! This is all completely and utterly unfair. It’s almost like I’m destined to walk everywhere and never drive again. Why me?!? My car isn’t even even a year old and she’s been through so many traumas. But perhaps there’s a lesson in it – other than the actual fact that my car isn’t that important in the greater scheme of life and everything meaningful.

You see (I clearly didn’t), when I came eye to eye with my gate, I was in a deep thought process that was rather self-deprecating. I was actually bashing myself about having been through such a bad relationship and that I’d allowed myself to be so terribly mistreated for a very long amount of time. I was thinking to myself ‘idiot, moron, dumb-stupid-knuckle-head’ and with a very awakening whack, I found myself halting such thoughts with immediate effect – and replacing them with more accurate reasons why I’m an idiot (such as crashing directly into a large, visible, stationary object that I encounter daily). That gate put me right! The hail was certainly another lesson – though completely different. I was driving my cousin around during a pause in editing his thesis, to get out for a bit. As he was ‘oohing and ahhing’ over my seriously cool wheels and I was thinking ‘yes they are!’ one massive storm hit leaving my ego bruised and my poor Mini cellulite-ridden – wounded assets prevailed. Well, that put the ego back in place and reminded me the real value of the piece of tin (with some dirty nuts and bolts and metal bits and thingys inside) that I adore. Sigh!

And as for from the rear-ending incident… I learnt that good things sometimes come from bad things and that I need to be more open to the fact that there is a purpose greater than me. You see, after the actual accident and after sharing the necessary details with the very gentle lady that gave me a rather bad shock, I messaged her to check she was ok and to badmouth the idiot that ruined our cars (some more) – as you do. I went on about the stupid taxi driver and about insurance claims and the rest. Her response was so simple and so startling. She replied that she knows that for some reason beyond our comprehension that she was meant to be car-less for the holidays (perhaps to force her, her husband and their kids to spend more time together) and that she’s grateful that we’re all ok despite it having been quite a nasty bump. At first I thought – seriously, I have to have an accident with Mother Theresa!?! And then I returned quickly back in my shoebox. Despite her being hit on both sides of her car, she was still being positive and I… was not. That made her awesome and me a loser. You know, the way we experience things and the lessons we learn (or don’t learn) is all about attitude and receptiveness. I’m usually glass-half-full, but somewhere between a while ago and this weekend, my glass began to empty, and this simple, kind, destiny-driven lady, filled that glass right back up again to the halfway mark. Thank goodness for that!

This week I’m learning, again (and again), to be grateful for what I have rather than to focus on negative things that happen, and have happened, to me. After all, not only do I own my own car, but I had a privilege of choosing which one I wanted. That makes me one of the most fortunate beings on earth, statistically speaking. As I reflect on my misfortunes, I chose to see the opportunities and remember that I am hugely fortunate and that when faced with the unexpected I can still control how I react to what happens.

As we reflect and plan into the new year, let’s be proactive over our thoughts and our attitudes. Let’s expect great things, let’s find opportunities in everything and let’s appreciate our blessings.

Have a wonderful week.

Yours in heels,
Jo

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