Superheelers

Hello High Heelers,

I know real life superheroes. Really, I do! Yesterday, I was driving home from a braai (which is similar to a barbecue, with a few menu adjustments) with my bestie, her hubby (who was actually doing the driving) and their little person. As we were going down a main road, my bestie said, very casually, “Do a U-turn now and go back quickly.” To my absolute amazement her hubby took action and immediately swung the car into oncoming traffic and sneakily managed to get onto the other side of the road without killing us. But that’s not the superhero part.

We stopped abruptly next to the road to find a lady looking all dazed, pale and confused. My friends had both heard a shrill scream and my bestie had witnessed a weird interaction between this woman and a scraggly guy with a beer bottle. I heard and saw nothing – note to everyone, don’t rely on me in any dangerous situations I clearly have the sensory sensitivity of a corpse. We had a few gentle words with the lady (which is where I was actually able to contribute sensitively) and she hurriedly jumped into the car after we offered to take her home. She was very shaken up after being attacked by the random beer-bottle-wielding guy on the street. We dropped her off at her home a few kilometres away and went back on our merry way.

See? My friends are out to rescue defenceless victims on the streets of Joburg city. That makes them superheroes in my comic book. They’re like Batman and Robin – though I won’t say which is the her(o) and which is the sidekick! It never ceases to astound me how many helpful people there are in the world… usually of the male persuasion. From my security guard at home who has come running up three flights of stairs (a few times) to investigate the ‘thieves’ scuffling around on my apartment roof – which have always turned out to be chunky hadeda birds stomping around merrily at the expense of my sense of safety (the ones near my home are the size of dodos – I swear!) To the random studenty dude at the cellphone shop a few weeks ago who spent over an hour with me, helping me pick out my new phone and tablet after spotting me wondering around looking very flustered and irritated with a cup of coffee in one hand and a crashed Blackberry in the other.

I’ve had many a helpful guy stop and help me with car problems on the side of the road (my first car gave me lots of problems – some of which were often self-created) but I’ve never ever had a lady stop to help me – we don’t seem to feel safe or confident enough to protect each other with physical things. Having said that, guys are, in general, not as good at the emotional stuff. I had a wonderfully awkward moment with a male colleague in the elevator early this year. I’d just received an email from yet another of my ex’s mistresses detailing all sorts of icky things, which in retrospect I should not have read – stupid, curious me. The said colleague gave me the once over and made a comment about me looking like I was about to burst into tears (because I was) – which he then followed up with ‘why?’ I warned him in my best ‘steady voice’ not to pursue the topic, so when the tears came, I could not be held responsible. And when they began, they just did not seem to stop. The poor dude had no idea how to fix the ‘water flow problem’, so he grabbed me by the shoulders and pushed me out of the elevator to one of my female colleagues – who gave me a hug, passed some tissues and shoved me into the bathroom to wash my face. Embarrassing! Let it be known guys – only rescue an emotional lady if you can handle tears, we don’t judge you for avoiding emotional stuff (particularly at work), we get that it’s not necessarily your greatest strength.

This International Men’s Day, I want to celebrate all the men for the amazing superhero things they do for us gals – inexplicably complicated car and technology stuff, practical advice, rational guidance, opening doors, carrying our heavy stuff, rescuing us from crazy birds on the roof and similar catastrophes, being strong for us when times are tough, fathering, brothering, loving, leading and for just being lovely and masculine. Sometimes us High Heelers give you an unfair run. Let’s not bash the beautiful men ladies, let’s celebrate them for their amazing strength and kindness. Let’s work on our strengths and let them work on theirs as we enter a time where gender equality can be confusing and delicate for us all at times.

Let’s not walk tall this week – let’s fly like superheroes. Let’s be cognisant of those who need our help and let’s assist where we can, while maintaining our own sense of safety and security. Have a wonderful week.

Yours in heels,
Jo

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