Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Step up connections


Hello High Heelers,
Yesterday, I was walking through the shops in Brisbane (with two boxes of new heels in tow) and while feasting my eyes on a selection of delightful looking chocolates that we don’t get back at home a lady and her mum walked past me chatting away in proper Afrikaans (one of our official South African languages) as though it was the most normal thing to do in Australia. I was so surprised that I totally lost focus and left the store without any decadent nibbles – damn! Then today on the train, a lady was yacking away loudly on her cellphone in Afrikaans organising a weekend away with her daughter. They were having a really good gossip, the kind that one would do very quietly in public if they were aware that they could be understood. When she hung up I was tempted to ask her if her son-in-law is really that difficult. I’m sure she would have been really embarrassed.
It always amazes me when I travel, how many international people I meet in cities. It surprises me more that I always bump into people from home – South Africa is hardly the biggest country in the world. Yet I’ve met SA au pairs on the subway in Manhattan, Saffers in their droves in Wimbledon, one in McDonald’s in Kowloon and most ridiculously, I met my neighbour for the first time (somehow he recognised me) in a tiny town called Kleinvink in the Netherlands. But we don’t need to move around to be global anymore. We can Skype people in other countries, we Tweet, FaceBook, email. We connect like never before. The world has become a global village where our neighbours can be thousands of miles away and yet we hear them loud and clear.
This had me thinking today, I’ve met my brother’s neighbours in Oz. I’ve shared stories on the treadmill with the lady from two houses away in the complex gym – she’s Irish, incidentally. I’ve chatted to every store assistant, restaurant person and train conductor. But I actually can’t tell you much about my neighbour at home – other than the fact that he’s young,  rather friendly and has helped me carry heavy stuff up my 3 flights of stairs a few times after finding me red-faced, stuck in heels, flustered and pushing a coffee table in no particular direction. The girl who lives at the end of my corridor is a nurse. I know this from her uniform. I don’t know her name or anything about her.
This week as I disconnected (for the most part) from my digital appliances, I realised that I have begun connecting over online formats in such deep ways that I sometimes forget to connect in person. I’ve also found myself chatting to people more because I’m outside of my comfort zone and I rely on others to help me when I’m lost, when I need an explanation on how the train system works and to let me know that ‘capsicum’ is the Aussie name for what I know of as ‘green peppers’. But when I’m at home I don’t rely on anyone. It’s me, out for me. I’m an independent woman and I stand alone.
Social networking is awesome, and I would never suggest otherwise. It’s revolutionising the way we communicate and it’s helping us gain knowledge, build relationships, become culturally sensitive, diverse and more informed. But it sometimes makes us forget that we have senses that were designed for face-to-face interaction. We are meant to talk to other people, read their spoken and unspoken cues and react. We’re social beings and that extends beyond words.
May I encourage you to remember your proximity relationships this week? Ask the store assist how they are, greet the lady on the bus you see every week, and in my case – check in on your neighbour when they seem to need help (it’s about time I returned the favour). Let’s be future focussed and digital, while still being personal and truly connected to reality. Let’s step it up. Have a wonderful week.
Yours in heels,
Jo  

 

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