Assertive and standing tall!

Hello High Heelers

It’s spring in South Africa and so I have spring cleaned my life this week. I feel like a new person! Chaos has been building for months, and being the polite person I am, I have completely failed to be assertive when necessary. So it’s been time to pull on the heels, stand my ground, add a spring to my step and sort out my stuff.

I’ve had no lights in my house for 4 months. It started off one Saturday evening. One by one the lights went out. It was like an invisible giant blew them out in sequence, just to annoy me. My man, being the fabulous modern guy he is, proudly arrived at my house on the Sunday morning with new light bulbs. He then balanced precariously and rather peculiarly on my dining room chair and small kitchen ladder (the ladder on top of the chair) and replaced all the bulbs (without electrocuting himself or falling from grace). After the great bulb ceremony we took a moment to marvel at his brilliance. Then we took a collective deep breath and flipped the switches. Nothing happened. No lights. No action.

And so began a 4 month feud between myself and my Body Corporate – who manage all maintenance in my block of apartments. I emailed. I phoned. I even withheld my monthly maintenance payment one month due to lack of service and was very promptly served with a lawyers’ letter (interesting how efficient they were with that!)

On the positive side, in the past 4 months I have experienced many romantic candle-lit dinners and ambient-flickering evenings with friends. But more often, I have stubbed toes, fallen over my welcome mat and stumbled into items in the night. I have had many moments of new-found respect for blind people as well as appreciating the privilege of having lights and electricity in my home.

This dark situation culminated in an explosion of frustration this week. I suddenly decided that I would no longer put up with the inefficiency around me. The Body Corporate was sent a letter with dates of expected completion prior to legal action, the annoying neighbour who keeps dumping his trash in our shared passageway received a letter under his door, and the TV supplier who insists on non-delivery was publically named and shamed. And voila! All is magically sorted.

We often stop ourselves from being assertive because we don’t want to offend others or we have the ‘nice’ gene. However, if we don’t assert ourselves we’re taken advantage of. Did you know that nice people don’t change the world? Effective people do. So this week communicate what you need to in a fair, clear and respectful way. Remember respecting yourself is as important as respecting others.

Natalie Maroun, my boss, has a wonderful way of asserting herself. Sometimes gently, sometimes more forcefully when necessary, but no matter what, she remains true to herself and she stands tall (despite being rather short). Let’s learn from that and be effective upstanding High Heelers from now on. Have a great week.

Cheers,
Jo