Lost in transportation

Hello High Heelers,

I got lost in my home town this morning. Yes, I did. As I drove past the road that I knew I was meant to turn down, I watched familiarity vanish into the misty, rainy morning traffic. If I hadn’t had my feet on the accelerator and the clutch, I would have been kicking myself – but fortunately there were no limbs available for that (for kicking or to be kicked). There was no backtracking. There was no return. I had to go forwards into unchartered territory and I had to find my way out of the Cape Town ringroads on a tough weather day. In my defence, I grew up in this city years ago and I stayed on the other side of the mountain.

In my non-defence, I get lost often. Very often. It’s almost a party trick, a quirk. In fact, I’ve had a subconscious vetting system for all past partners based on their ability to safely co-pilot me, over the phone, from one location to the next. So usually in such lost-ness, I would have immediately called my current navigator to talk me through and out. But since I’ve been in a state of happy navigatorlessness for some time now, that was not an option. Right. So there I was. In the city of my childhood, not so much stuck between a rock and a hard place, but very much stuck between the mountain and my workplace. Panic set in. I imagined myself driving in circles all day, or worse, finding myself stuck in a ‘dangerous area’ (never mind that I’m a Joburg girl and I can pretty much handle myself through anything).

It’s funny how we tell ourselves we can’t do things. Often it’s because we listen to others tell us we can’t do them. I’ve spent a lifetime listening to people tell me I have the direction of a ping pong ball, or that I’d be the most entertaining Amazing Race contestant for viewers but the most frustrating for my fellow competitor. Gosh, even when I went for psychometric testing as a teenager the doctor told me that I’m great with words and numbers but that I must stay away from engineering, as my lack of visual understanding and 3D perception would be the death of people – possibly beginning with my own. He also went into maps and navigation and explained my brain’s shortfalls. This could be why, my father equipped me with a Garmin (unrequested) last year. Though to be fair, if I’d known how effective that little thing was, I could have saved myself a lot of poor vetting in the past.

With the help of said gadget, I proved all naysayers wrong today. Yes I did. On total lost-ness, I whipped out my Garmin, I typed in the address of my office on this side of the world, and I followed that annoying lady’s voice. Man, she took me through weird and wonderful streets I didn’t know existed. At one point I became a little concerned so also used the navigation system on my cellphone, and on my tablet for extra measure. Three options is better than none – and to me, better than one, too. I managed to steer clear of dodgy areas where imminent death is a high probability (I think it helps that there aren’t actually any such areas on this side of the continent) and I got to my offices, only fifteen minutes late, though on time for my first appointment. I even had a moment to pass the coffee shop for a hot caffeine fix and some nerve chilling.

Sure, in all honesty, modern technology assisted with my lack-of-direction out this morning. But in fairness to myself I may have a lack of direction, but I don’t have a lack of drive. I knew where I was going and I decided I was going to get there. So many people place restrictions on us. It’s really quite unfair. Some people are told they have no aptitude for numbers, others that they’re untalented artists – there’s a lifetime of ‘can’ts’ put on us. Whatever limitations are placed on you, remember that your greatest limitation is actually your own mind. It may seem somewhat of a cliché these days, but Mr. Henry Ford was onto something when he said “if you think you can, or you think you can’t, either way you’re right.”

You don’t have to do things the ‘hard way’ either. I may have little sense of direction – but so what – my enabling devices have that sorted, so I can focus on the stuff that I am good at, like sharing my silliness with you. The modern world has enabled us in so many ways. Your grandfather may say that your calculator makes you lazy, but any modern six-year old kid will tell you that if you’re not managing your budget on your iPad with the necessary app, you’re losing out on amazing functionality.

This week let’s be kind to ourselves and our capabilities. Let’s focus on what we’re good at, let’s enable ourselves where we can, in our weak areas. And let’s acknowledge that if we limit our power and our capabilities that we’re doing ourselves a grave injustice. Step up to the challenge of finding your best way forward and step out with confidence.

Have a wonderful week.

Yours in heels,
Jo

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Lights, camera, action!

Hello High Heelers

I am proud to share that I continued to behave like a teenager throughout the weekend. Since I’m officially 16 going on 32, I’m allowed. I have also crowned myself ‘Princess of REAL ages’ and have been reallocating friends’ and colleagues’ ages and renaming them ‘fabulous’ all week. It seems everyone is keen to know what their new age is (which brings a whole new meaning to the phrase ‘new age’). It’s funny how we absolutely hate change in most instances, but when it comes to getting an extreme make-over we’re up for it. People go through excessive pain and massive discipline to look youthful and vibrant. As long as we’re younger and hotter, we’re happy. We don’t even pause to think.

I was watching Extreme Make-Over Home Edition this weekend. I have no idea why. But I was. I think it was part of my teenager revival. That show gets the emotions going every time and gets me hooked on reality TV. I was soon watching ’10 Years Younger’ ‘What not to Wear’ and all sorts of other improvement shows. When you spend a day on the couch being a slobby, lazy sixteen-year-old you learn all about how to upgrade yourself. You discover how to be a master chef, a snappy dresser, a baker, a historian, an engineer, CSI detective, the perfect mom and goodness knows what else. And to get started, all you have to do is get off the couch!

I must admit, I felt a little inadequate watching the green-fingered geniuses turn barren soil into an oasis of wonderfulness and growth. Then these annoyingly talented designers made drab homes into fab palaces – on tight budgets. Obese kids went to spa-like boarding schools (most unlike the boarding school I went to) and came out looking like supermodels. You see, being a reality star transforms people. Because TV forces you to show off your talents on the one hand, and address your deepest issues on the other. You can’t ignore them – the whole world is watching! Talk about accountability.

Which got me thinking. Who is my reality TV character? If I had to go on and ‘show off my skills’ what would I be doing? And if I had to be on a make-over show, what would I be getting help to fix?  Hmmm. Well, in my state of being sixteen, I would probably be showing off my wonderful imagination. I can make up stories, delve into the creative world and really be quite silly when I need to step back and look at serious reality in a non-threatening way. On the ‘improvement side’ well – where to start? I could definitely do with a bit of a make-over. A health farm with exercising, de-stressing, eating healthily and enduring similar ‘good torture’ would be the show to turn me from couch potato to sexy celery (like my boss, Natalie Maroun).

To many of us that live in the Western world, self-improvement (as per Maslow’s self-actualisation area at the top of his Hierarchy of Needs) is a massive part of realising our personal dreams and making us feel fulfilled. So how do we find out what we really want? There are many ways to do this. This weekend I decided to look at myself as though I’m a TV character – from the outside. Why don’t you also try it? Examine your areas that need serious improvement in an unemotional way and work on them like you’re accountable to the world. But also highlight your strengths. Share what you’re good at. Remember your value. Become a star in your own right and write your own story.

Right celebrity heelers, step up, be ‘on air’, put your best foot forward and shine this week.

Cheers,
Jo

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Work in Progress

Hello High Heelers

Gosh! I am in pain. I’m also a complete ‘non-High Heeler’ today. Why? Well, quite simply because I am an idiot. Really – I am! You see, I recently started gym-ing every day before work. And I mean every day. After a year of no exercise, I have hit it big. Moderation? What moderation? And last night I managed to overdo it a little (ok – a lot) and today my calves are so sore that I can only wear flat shoes. I have become a flat-shoed one.

Before the hurtful gym session, I found myself in the dressing room pulling on a pair of tracksuit pants that I haven’t worn in some time. And in that time, I have grown a little – horizontally. Fortunately they did go all the way up and tied around my waist comfortably, but since they were stretching wider than ever before (around the thighs and posterior regions) they were suddenly a lot shorter. So there I stood in front of the mirror wearing funny pants with my awkward bright new running shoes sticking out the bottom. I felt ridiculous!

I had that female moment! We’ve all had them – even the men. I felt convinced that I was a fraud and the most hideous creature on earth and that I had no business being at gym next to all the glowing super-human supermodels. I wanted to hide in the bathroom like a hibernating hippo. And then, the most wonderful thing happened. As I walked miserably past the mirrors, not one, not two, but three morbidly obese women crossed my walk of shame. Each of them red faced and well-wet from a session of heavy exercise. Go girls!

Why was this a ‘eureka moment’? Well. You see, I came to the wonderful realisation that people who go to gym are not actually perfect people, they’re people who want to better themselves. They have a goal and they are ‘works in progress’. You’re never too old, too fat, too tired or ‘too anything’. It’s about making the decision and committing to do your best to keep going.

That’s really much of what life is about. It’s this constant attempt to be a better you. We study harder and more. We aim for better jobs. We pair up with a partner to be a better ‘us’ – or we don’t. We have children and try to get the best for them and from them. We eat better, exercise more, dress more elegantly… Well, for those of us that believe in this form of progression, this is what we do. We also try to model ourselves on people who have succeeded in ways we define success for ourselves – forgetting that we are unique beings.

This constant journey of self-improvement pushes and stretches us, often beyond our pain threshold. So sometimes we will feel a little ‘sore’ when we’ve pushed ourselves far. But remember that High Heelers are malleable beings and will always heal if we allow ourselves to, and when we have the right support and attitude. When I make mistakes at work my fabulous boss, Natalie Maroun, gently corrects me (most of the time!) and pushes me in the right direction. Sometimes it hurts, but it always results in personal growth and achievement. The result has never been anything other than great improvement followed by personal joy.

So, may I encourage you to see yourself as a work in progress this week? Be kind to yourself for not being ‘there’ but continue to push your own boundaries and allow yourself to grow. There really is no pain as sweet as growing pains! Have a wonderful week!

Cheers,
Jo