High on Advice

Hello High Heelers,

I recently found myself giving marriage advice to an acquaintance that I had just met. Isn’t it amazing how sometimes we end up passing tissues and dealing with awkward bursts of emotion from random strangers faster than we can shout ‘TMI’ (too much information). This is something that happens to High Heelers far more frequently than it happens to those flat-shoed ones. We are over-sharers and we want to fix all presented problems. We’re solution-istas. Fixing other people’s lives is as genetic as our obsession for 6 inch pumps and as common as ‘Days of our Lives.’

So what kind of advice did I give? Well, I must say, I did my very best. I put on my ‘all knowing toned’ voice of authority and I convinced myself and all present with my pearls of wisdom. I believe that I gave excellent advice. I listened to the problem and I dished out the best solution ever – on a silver platter. However, in retrospect, I recognise that I didn’t take a few things into consideration. Yep. Since I didn’t know the person very well, I discounted the history, the personality types being dealt with and the fact that there were children involved and how to manage these relationships. In fact, in all honesty, I probably should have kept my pearls around my neck and out of my mouth.

I have received all kinds of advice in my life. The good kinds and the bad. My grandmother used to always tell me ‘A man is no prize, my dear. You treat him well enough, but not so well that he becomes spoilt.’ Now we could go into a whole debate about the value of that message, but the important part I got from it is that women are valuable gifts themselves and that they should never compete or compromise who they are for a relationship. From that perspective, the advice was excellent. Had I taken the message that a partner is not to be held in high regard that would not have been very good counsel at all.

You see, advice is personal. Not only is it about saying the right thing, to the right person at the right time. But when in the receivers’ heels, it’s about interpreting others’ ideas in a way that brings meaning to you. My advice on advice is this: listen to all of it. If people take the time and care about you enough to share their experiences, listen. But take from it what is right for you and what suits your world. If it’s all nonsense then simply thank the speaker and move on. You don’t own what people speak into your life. You only own your own dreams and desires.

This week as you keep climbing, surround yourself with High Heelers who will add value through words, suggestions and kindness. I have my boss, Natalie Maroun, who adds massive value to my work experience. I have my best friends who know me well enough to guide me through big life choices. And I have my family to balance all the rest.

As we walk tall, let’s pick our advisors generously, our friends carefully, but our mentors with the greatest caution. Those who influence us with words, have the power to grow our destinies. 
Have a wonderful week.

Cheers,
Jo

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