Take Tradition by the Heel

Hello High Heelers,

Shew – in my life, wedding season in the friendship circle is in full swing. Well, at least the planning stages. I chatted with a colleague today who spent the weekend shopping for bridesmaid dresses. I also spent Saturday shopping for not one, but two body flattering, booty flattening, bust fattening, crisp, white wedding frocks for two blushing brides-to-be (who just happen to be fabulous women, High Heelers and my friends).

All the shopping got us girls talking – and me thinking. The list of traditions you need to follow is quite substantial. ‘Something borrowed, something blue, something old, something new.’ If you leave out the old, you could be setting yourself up for a disastrous marriage (and no guys, your mother-in-law do not qualify as the ‘something old!’). Then there’s the very expensive, five-tiered cake which needs to be cut in unison and smooshed over each other’s faces – much like clowns throwing cream pies at one another.

There’s a garter to be removed (preferably with groom’s teeth) and thrown at all the single men. And a bouquet that gets chucked at the spinsters. Please note that the unmarried people have objects hurled at them as their penance for being single – not very nice is it? Then the idiot that caught the garter needs to dance with the bachelorette that caught the flowers. And they look really silly trying to look elegant while being completely and uncomfortably exposed under the disco lights.

Gosh! Do I need to go into the decorations and the vows and all the rest? No? Good. You know the drill… and the bill. Every detail of the wedding is important and every fine frill can be traced back to an old tradition that was thought up many moons ago – if only we could remember where it came from. Creative couples add in their own little nuances, but the big traditions are kept sacred.

If you haven’t noticed by now, the tradition of western weddings intrigue me. It’s funny how we’ve progressed tremendously when it comes to gender neutrality. We are all supposedly treated equally at work and in life. But when it’s comes to the ‘big day’, it’s all playing into gender roles and doing what you’re supposed to do according to tradition. The woman wears a dress – even if she’s a civil engineer and hasn’t even donned a skirt in past times. The guy (surfer / heavy metal musician / accountant) wears his tailored suit and the men deal with the important stuff, like speeches.

Sigh! Now, I’d like to be bold and suggest that we turn the tradition on its head. I’d really like to. I’d love to see the man walk down the aisle to be given away to be owned by his woman (which if you think about it, is kinda closer to reality). I’d love to see the moms do the speeches and the boys spend all day getting their look just right. Wouldn’t that be interesting?

But the truth is, I’m a sucker for tradition. Does that make me a woman of contradictions – hell yes! And this week I’d like to suggest that you can have your (wedding) cake and eat it. You can be against traditional gender roles but still maintain your femininity and high heels. You can be a person who respects where things come from while on a journey to create new meaning, new truths and new traditions.

You really can. But you’ll be doing it from the front. You’ll be standing tall amongst the few. You’ll face some tough times. But you’ll be all the better for it.

Have a wonderfully traditional, or not, week.

Cheers,
Jo

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