Hello High Heelers
I realised on Friday afternoon that I neglected you all last week. I am so sorry! With Monday having been Freedom Day, a public holiday in South Africa, I completely lost the day and forgot to post. Despicable. I know! So much for girl power and adding my ‘free thoughts’ to the day.
And what else is despicable? Well. I managed to get not one, but two ladders in my stockings today. With winter fast approaching, the scarves, gloves, boots and stockings are making their way to the front of my cupboard – rapidly. And today I pulled on a very cute pair of diamond pattered tights with a ‘Burberry’ feel to them. Lovely! They’re thermal, moisture-absorbent and have ‘body sculpting’ abilities. They also cost a great deal more than ‘normal’ stockings. So my expectations were high when I pulled them up – with difficulty. Gosh, was I disappointed!
Firstly, on the ‘body sculpting’ part – who came up with that idea? (I’m guessing a ‘flat-shoed-one’.)The premise is that a pair of tights can suck in all your wobbly bits and make you look like a supermodel in an instant. I should have known better! I’ve tried those thinning teas and magic slimming pills, with little evidence to support their effectiveness – yet. I also know a little bit about science – for instance, what goes up, must come down. According to the logic of Galileo, who shouted ‘Eureka’ when he came up with his Water Displacement Theory, fluids are displaced by objects – a scientist will give you a better explanation, but that’s the (very) rough idea. How the spandex people think that they can prove this theory wrong is completely beyond me. Fat is a fluid, our bodies are made of… fluids! So, what gets squished in, must get squished out (and displaced elsewhere). And so, thanks to Galileo’s theory, I have had great thighs and lower abs today, with a fabulous displaced ‘muffin top’ above my waistband – well, Eureka to that! That was just the beginning of the troublesome tights. I then managed to get them caught on the buckle of my shoe and then on my chair. I was not running or being ridiculous in any way. In fact I’ve been surprisingly poised and elegant all day (except for having the ‘muffin top’). So the stockings are against me. They cost a fortune, made me look silly and they refused to be worn more than once. And they didn’t keep me warm in accordance with their ‘thermal promise’. Stupid, stupid stockings.
But above all other tight issues, my biggest annoyance with my ineffective leg warming device is that they are a quality product with a quality promise that just did not meet my expectation. And as a result, I am bitterly disappointed. If they were cheap stockings from the corner store, I would accept their pathetic display of non-resilience and inadequate body perfecting. You expect to get what you pay for – right?
I’m a firm believer of ‘quality costs’ and I’m happy to pay a little extra for something of greater value. But when that thing of greater value behaves like a cheap thing, it’s not ok! And so it is with us High Heelers. We are high quality beings, adding value to everything we do and we should never ever behave like we’re anything but high quality. We must deliver on our promises, we must exceed the expectations we set out and we must never crumble (or climb down the ladder) when facing a little pressure. We must be just like my elegant boss, Natalie Maroun – who incidentally is never spotted in laddered stockings.
When you behave below your value, you decrease your power, weaken your character and step down. High Heelers – let’s step up the quality and have a great week.
Cheers,
Jo
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